I have to say it like that, because the man deserves the arrogant mention of his name. There is no black business man who has accomplished more than what he has. Will Smith may be the only other contender I can think of, but Puffy (I know him as Puffy, being that I’ve followed this man’s career since 1997), he’s on a completely different scale.

Earlier this week, on my “ever time flying 30 minute break,” I stopped into Borders and was drawn to the latest issue of XXL, hip hop’s biggest editorial. One the cover was my idol, in all his glory, the man they have known as Puff Daddy, P. Diddy, and now, just Diddy. He’s not doing bad for a 40 year old. Leave it to men like Jay-Z and Puffy to make being middle aged appealing. I grew with these men and they grew with me. In my life though, Diddy came before Jay (his first album No Way Out was the first rap album that I ever bought), and Diddy has continted you influence my life every year that I age. So you can imagine the feeling that would come over me when I see something this epic one the cover of a magazine.

“I got my billions up, fuckin with dem white folks/ Now I don’t give a fuck, ’cause I’m richer than dem white folks…”
-Diddy’s verse on Wocka Flocka Flame’s O Let’s Do It (Remix)

Now everyone knows that Puff doesn’t write his own lyrics, but the way that line came off, man it sounds like his own thoughts. The cockiness just drips his pores. But you can’t hate him for it. You know that he’s worked to gain the status that has and all of the credibility that comes along with it.

What’s interesting about this month’s XXL cover is that this is Puff’s first cover for the publication. Ever. He’s been in the game longer than most artists and entrepreneurs in hip hop and he is just now gracing a cover of XXL. It’s well deserved. As I read on, I dream about would could be, in my career. Could I be the next Diddy? Could I strive to accomplish what Jay-Z has done as a rapper? Or should I just think of it in the scope of what I’m going to do? The latter sounds a little better. I need to be the next “me.” You ready world?

If you have the opportunity, I highly recommend that you pick up a copy of this month’s XXL and read the article on Diddy. It’s very insightful and provides a cool insight into his madness as a workaholic and why he truly is the best thing to happen to hip hop on a business forefront. Where Russell took it into the mainstream in the early nineties, Diddy made expanded on that and made hip hop an international genre. Everyone knew who Biggie was. Everyone remembers those damn shinny suits. Everyone gave him flack for sampling. Yet, everyone still shook their ass. Even music videos. No one in black music since Michael Jackson up the point of Diddy doing it, did music videos feel like mini movies. Thanks Diddy. Thanks Hype.

Business in music will never be the same because of Diddy. Hell, even his partner Jay-Z (silent partner I like to say) will show you what it means to be a black business man in music…hmm…

“Don’t worry if I write rhymes/I write checks…”
Diddy’s verse on  ”Bad Boy 4 Life” from The Saga Continues…

Will Smith has always been one of my idols. I followed his career ever since I was a small child and he still inspires me to this day. I always looked at him as the anomaly out of all the black successful men that have “made it” in entertainment. Who couldn’t like Will Smith? He was charismatic, funny, and a damn good actor – not to mention he was the first rapper to ever win a Grammy award. I can’t say that I ever bumped his albums but I remember almost all of his singles. They were some of the biggest rap songs I could remember growing up. I mean huge. Who could forget songs like, Parents Just Don’t Understand, Ring My Bell, Gettin’ Jiggy Wit It, Miami, or the Men in Black song. It was the hip hop that I always respected but could never make. I don’t know why that is, but as a rapper, at least right now in my career I can’t find it in me to write a song like Miami. I remember the story Will Smith once told in an interview about why he never cursed in his music. It’s one of the most respectable reasons I have heard on not needing to curse in rap music. Although, there were other good reasons on why I found it okay to do so, or even important to do so. I was always torn between the two ends. I have toned it down a lot recently. There’s an interesting story why that I will probably share another time. The problem that I think hip hop music has is that often times it speaks to only one type of people, it’s not like the other genres that are easily universal. But hip hop is, what I call the true voice of a black man and all characteristics of a black man. You will find every single characteristic if you thumb through all of the rappers out there. Some with so much sense, you wonder how they missed an ivy league university, some with no sense at all that I find it embarrassing to other rappers and the black community.

What I have found to be the most interesting thing about Will Smith is that without much effort he has spoken to many races, and cultures across the world through his music, movies, and all of the causes that he supports. He is widely liked. He’s just being himself. He is the last of a dying breed and he is also incredibly intelligent. Something that is overlooked in celebrities these days. Where in entertainment you have to try so hard to stand out these days many people do not remain themselves. They create a facade. What I call the cash cow facade – the personality that the companies push because it makes money.

There is also the rise to success. It’s much harder than ever to be successful in media. The culture is so saturated. If you think you would die to be famous, be a movie star, singer, news anchor, or TV personality, there is someone opposite of you ready to literally kill in order to do it. There are only a small number of people that actually commit themselves to becoming the best at what they want to pursue. Things like practice and dedication are swept underneath the rug to shortcuts and nepotism. This is probably why we have such an abundance of entertainers and not enough talented people giving us the media that we consume like candy so fast we are bored after 30 seconds. I long for the days of substance. I long for the days where I feel like the energy that I put into such things like my blog would be something people check everyday as they would their e-mail, or FAIL Blog, because it’s of some substance to their lives. Fact of the matter is most people don’t like to read. So I’ve already written too much, and I’ve already become too profound and borderline preachy. I’ve been told people don’t like that. Therefore, let me just wrap this up. The video you see below is of Will Smith speaking on some very important issues about success, being focused on your desires, and conquering the fears that are associated. My brother showed this to me last year and I had to revisit it. I wanted to share it with you all. If you are someone like myself chasing something greater in your life, once you watch it, remember it, and keep it with you.

I want to speak on myself when I say that but I feel I have to give credit where it is due. This guy man…he came at the right time. Hip hop needs this. I can only imagine what will happen when I get on. I really wonder, what will be my story? How will it happen for me? I’ve said that many of times before but I really think about that quite often. I’m putting the work in. I’m losing sleep to get to it. I am praying about this everyday. I need to be doing music. It’s in my blood. I feel so close. I can’t let go of it. It’s apparent that J Cole has embraced his calling as well.

This video is of J Cole when we has performing at S.O.B in New York City, debuting the first single from his album Who Dat?. It definitely says that there are good things in store for his album. It will be well worth the wait. And when you have someone like Jay-Z backing you, how can you lose?

Young boys, young boys. Hustlers, stick up kids, and wanna be’s… Live life without recklessness. Give yourself the image of having intelligence. Do not ever forget where you come from but know, where you come from, not everyone will relate or understand. Give them reason NOT to profile you. The world is your oyster.

Being a rapper (an African American rapper) having the preconceived notions on your lifestyle, your environment, and your demeanor, is something common to them. As long as I have been a hiphop fan, going on 14 years now I have seen rappers speak out against the profile they get. Some embrace it and glorify it. It’s fascinating to me that hip hop after having life for around 30 years, the genre and it’s artists are still the most misunderstood and the confusion doesn’t seem to die down. The environment that most rappers arise from are not of the most attractive. Fact: Most rappers were at some point drug dealers or involved in crimes. Fact: Most rappers were troubled teens. Fact: Most rappers fabricate their life because they feel in order to be accepted they need to be like those other rappers. So in turn we have felons and misguided youth for no reason at all. Is it influence or is it the media’s portrayal without the proper conducted research and understanding on this thing we call “hiphop” or even this thing the world knows as the Young Black Man.

Many rappers address these topics but it is often drowned out by the money market nonsense that is ever present and easily accessible. But I feel it is important to spread the right word. Two of my favorite rappers Pusha T and Malice of the Clipse continue to do this. Malice started a video blog last year and has since released some very important messages since.

Some words from Malice. Some of you might understand this, some may not. It’s important to be heard by anyone who has a view or opinion on the artists in hip hop or what they represent.

There is a certain art to putting together a good commercial ad campaign. It can be a clever storyline or theme, or really well used visual effects. As we crossed the line into the 21st Century and commercials became, funnier, more over the top, and with higher production values, it was the world that of visual effects that was called on to help with the execution. I come from a visual effects background, and having a B.A. in the field, and I must say that the integration of visual effects into almost everything we see in media, is one of the most fascinating evolutions I will probably witness in my life. As a teen in high school I followed effects closely and what I remember then in comparison to what I see now, is truly astonishing. Although, I will say that it has become over used – to the point I no longer get that wow factor that I once had.

Now, after working for a visual effects studio, Rhythm and Hues, I walked away with an even greater appreciation for the art form. It’s hard work. Don’t let anyone ever tell you different. Contrary to popular belief, the computer does not do all of the work. Many extremely talented artist work long hours to bring the elements that many marvel over when they see it in a movie, video game, or commercial. I feel that it goes as far as to even “make the product.” Let’s take Transformers for instance – no matter how you want to debate it, but visual effects made that movie. Same for Avatar. It’s kind of sad because visual effects in feature films or commercials is not a story telling tool. It’s like the butt of a joke or a pun, it’s only there to advance the thing that it supports. Yet, many of times, it takes center stage due to a weak story. I blame laziness among the brains behind the storytelling. Sorry, many will hate me for that but, I feel Avatar did have a weak story.

The two commercials below belong to a Samsung campaign promoting their newly devised 3D television, and a Coca-Cola Super Bowl ad spot. Forget what’s being advertised when watching these. Pay attention to how they are being advertised. It’s pretty remarkable at effects allow to believe or question what to believe. That holds much stronger in the first one. The visual effects for these commercials, from my research, were done by ad agencies CHI, and Wieden + Kennedy, respectively.

If you have ever been interested in all the cool CG that you see in your favorite movies I recommend that you do a little research and see how it is done. I almost guarantee that you will be surprised at what goes into it. The appreciation is necessary. It will be the most important asset in almost all media in the next 5-10 years. I promise you that.

DJ Premier. Need I say more?

Some Poetry. Ahem.

Hard work pays off.
Hard work gets you places – to the top, where the money is, where the girls live…
Hard work means lost sleep.
Hard work means you don’t see your family and your friends as often as you should.
Work hard and you will get everything you desire.
The young who work hard, work hard for the rest of their life.
Young black men work hard to survive.
It’s hard work being a young black man.
I’m a hard working young black man.
I work hard to survive.
Working hard when others are having fun or slacking off.
Why do they say, “Don’t work too hard?”
I work harder than a lot of people I know. Why am I still struggling?
It’s hard to work when it’s such a beautiful day outside.
They say Mexicans are the hardest working people.
I’m Jamaican, we work hard with multiple jobs.
Drug dealers work hard. Staying up late hours on the corner for the night fiends to wander by.
The homeless man must be working hard on the street asking for change and holding his sign up in the hot sun.
Parents work hard to keep the kids under roofs and fabrics to keep them warm.
Teens work hard to keep up with the teenage Jones’.
People work hard to maintain an image, don’t they?
It’s harder to easily be yourself than to put in work being something that will get you attention.
Those who do it, and are successful, good job, you worked hard. Honorable mention.
Seeing the low number of visitors to my blog works really hard on my heart.
I work hard on my blog. I worked hard on my mixtape. I worked hard to promote it by myself.
Why people pass and brush off go-getters as if it’s not hard work to chase your dreams?
Those same people work hard to rekindle when the go-getters make it, don’t they?
I love to work. I love to go hard. I love to work hard. I just hope it doesn’t leave me scared.
I work hard to be myself.
In short, on all levels, work hard!

Some art with the themes of hard, going hard, or working hard:

DJ Khaled feat Kanye West and T-Pain
Go Hard
Directed by: Hype Williams

Rihanna feat. Young Jeezy
Hard
Directed by: Melina Matsoukas

By David LaChapelle

Raising kids, is hard work.

Kind of blasphemous but, Pimpin’ is hard work.

An analytical post.

Which one makes sense to find first? Well do you care about a companion or living as you dreamed your whole life? The latter I’ve always equated to true happiness. You know, in most cases the two can be found in one swoop. Maybe happiness for someone is finding love. For me they are still separate and I often wonder which I will come across first in my life.

In the pursuit of happiness. That’s a statement, made by many. It incites that you must find happiness, it will never come to you. That sounds like work.
Looking for love in all the wrong places. That’s a statement too. That also sounds like work.

Well everything in life is, as I have come to learn is work. For those very two things that comes off as a little unfair. It was my understanding for a very long time that love or happiness are things that “happen” as you age. Such as, “I feel in love” or “I am finally in love.” I still don’t beleive in looking for love. I was always told, as long as you looking for love, it will hide. It comes when your hands are tied behind your back, you’ve lost your glasses, and are impounded to a wheelchair. Metaphorically of course. And I wasn’t exactly told just like that, I sort of put my own twist on the words.

Well, what about happiness? Isn’t that a feeling? How can you chase a feeling? It will be fake at that point you find it. Shouldn’t it happen a more natural to be authentic? You can work for that top position in the company and when you get it, you’ll be so happy. In the end you still didn’t pursue happiness. You only pursued what would make you happy – the job. The two statements above sound like a paradox. How can you be out looking for either in life, when they more or less come to you or better yet, happen?

I happen to be chasing my dreams. My dreams consist of jobs that I don’t see as jobs but passions drawn from my interests and characteristics that define me as an artist and at some point in my life they will bring that true happiness that I have wanted all my days. I cannot chase happiness or love in that explanation. I’m chasing the actual things that I love. They happened to me. They came a random  age and I feel in love. In my case it was music, film, and art. All in my younger years. Early on, I knew what made me happy. I am blessed. Some people do not find that until late in life.

Where am I going with this completely jumble of thoughts trying to make sense out of statements people so often use but may not fully understand? Meaning. I’d rather try to use it, or understand it in the right way before I just fall in line and join the parade. There’s always a path unexplored. I like that path. It’s lonely, quite and allows me the freedom to think. Plus once someone finds me and pulls focus to what I have discovered, I can say I was here first. It’s okay to boast a little. Take credit for your free thinking. So many don’t do it.

Some pieces that fit:

The Nightmare, 1781
John Henry Fuseli
Romanticism Art Period

Now she looks happy.
Mona Lisa, 1503-1506
Leonardo Da Vinci
Italian Renaissance

I was talking to my good friend and filmmaker on Thursday while we spent most of the day politicking while watching the NCAA Championship Basketball games about my plans and ideas on collaboration with the people who’s work I most respect. He happens to be one of them. He’s an AFI (American Film Institute) graduate by way of the Director track. He is very talented individual and incredibly smart. If you ever want to quiz someone on sports trivia, he is the one to do it with. You won’t stump him. I will put some coins on that.

Thinking  a few days back on what we discussed while writing this post, I came across the short film We Were Once A Fairytale, which was the recent collaboration between acclaimed director, Spike Jonze and Kanye West. It is the direct translation of what I one day aim to accomplish. Creating groundbreaking art with my peers who deserved to have their names mentioned beyond their own world. That last sentence really forces me to think of the aesthetics behind collaborations. I often see it as a way to work with a peer in which you respect or admire their work, but I also see it as a way to introduce your own fans, or followers, to someone who they may not know. If they are already familiar, then it becomes a way to present to them a new “style” that can born under the circumstances of the working chemistry. Even a new found friend can be made if they weren’t one before.

It’s also really interesting the variations of collaborations, such as marriage. That is a collaboration on life. One can become a better person, or find happiness.

In art, I believe some of the greatest work comes when two artists meet halfway to create. The results are often refreshing. I hope my time to be given the chance to create art on a larger scale is nearby. Be it through the mediums of music, film, or a future interest, fashion. More will undoubtedly believe in the dream that I am after. I anxiously wait for the day that I will not necessarily need to create on my own as I have done for many years until that is allowed to happen, I learn to be my own collaborator and inspire myself. What’s most incredible about being a fan, or a pupil of those I admire, is that I can be inspired by works such as this:

Part 1

Part 2

A family partnership between TroyB Arthouse and Cloud 9 Productions

On March 11, 2010 two young entrepreneurs made a pact.

You all may have seen previous posts regarding the the artist J Nic$, my younger brother Sean Buck and their opus mixtape “Dirty Sneakers.” With J Nic$ delivering vocals and Sean Buck behind the boards handling production, engineering, mixing, and mastering, and to add, a feature on one of the tracks,  that very mixtape was the first born brain child to emerge from the womb of the musical family and team known as Cloud 9 Productions, or C9 for short. The team includes the recording artists J Nic$, Phresh James, Lil’ Champ, and Sean Buck, as producer/engineer/rapper. It was started by the Fresh N3rd (who is also my god-brother) and Merv the Barber, with both serving as managers of sorts to the musical family. The first official mixtape to be released under Cloud 9 support was J Nic$’ “Dirty Sneakers. It was received with open arms and critical acclaim in Miami and he is now being praised and labeled as the rappers to keep eyes focused to in the future. The mixtape was recently named, “Mixtape of the Week” by the Miami New Times.

After speaking with Fresh N3rd recently and having a discussion on the direction of entrepreneurial endeavors with our respective brands, TroyB Arthouse and Cloud 9, we have decided to form a partnership as family. The two of us have shared, more or less, the same dreams when it came to music since our younger years. We are hardcore fans of hip hop, and it has even been said by some that we know some of our favorite artists as if we know them personally. I am a recording artist myself with a business mind that has allowed me to stay afloat on the west coast in pursuit of a music career. Fresh N3rd has used his knowledge and ear for choice music to help guide the artist that he has endorsed to the level of their careers that they desire. The two of us are far form a record label or entertainment company, but the vision is there. Until we can become more specific on our desired path, we will partner up and give support to one another until have reached the envisioned destination. So, that said, you will see more features on the artists currently in C9 as their music becomes available and you will see TroyB Arthouse exposed on more avenues in order to build a following for the dreams we share. I have a strong feeling this will be an exciting year for both parties. In the summer, you can look forward to mixtape releases from myself, and Sean Buck, an album from Phresh James, and an EP from the talented J Nic$.

Fresh N3rd calls his movement the 305 Renaissance. I call what I am doing, simply, unheard of. Music is about to experience something that will change the culture, for the better.  I believe so. Do you?

Friday Night March 5, 2010. Approximately 7pm, Western Standard Time.

I stood on the sidewalk of Olympic Blvd in downtown Los Angeles, the Staples Center behind me, facing The Nokia Plaza as I waited patiently for my friends to arrive so that we all can enter the stadium for the big game. In my perspective: the big game. This was the night of my first real sports event – to see the Los Angeles Clippers take on Oklahoma City Thunder. What made it so special is that I am a huge basketball fan…

Begin Tangent

I don’t why I like the game so much. The only thing that I could justify is my fascination with the players and not specifically the teams. Kevin Garnett is my favorite player of all time. If you ask why, it’s because he loves the game so much. He plays his heart out every game like it’s his first. I can relate to that feeling. Contrary to popular belief, Michael Jordan is not everyone’s favorite player. He is one of the greatest, if not the greatest basketball players to ever grace the game. We’ll see what Lebron James does in his career. My friends and I spoke on him possibly surpassing Jordan. For me, with Jordan it ends there. I didn’t want to be like him growing up, as most did. Evening gaining the phrase, “Be like Mike,” or “Everyone wants to be like Mike.” Play ball with some friends and see how many of them stick out their tongue on a drive to the basket. I didn’t want to be like KG either. I may have wanted to emulate him but it was the statement that I wanted to marry more than anything: “I love this game. It will forever be apart of me.” Or with Jordan: “I want to be the best. I am the best”

End Tangent.

…but standing there captured and mesmerized in the display of lighting and the many monitors housed in the foyer of the plaza from my view showed me everything that I dream of. The Nokia Plaza is where many big musical acts perform on their leg of their tour to LA. On the monitors I could see: “The Black Eyed Peas with Special Guest, Ludacris,” I saw “Boyz II Men, Saturday March 8th.” The monitors were blaring with color my eyes felt heavy as the emotion became to come over me: This is were I am going to perform one day. Right there -

- on the leg of my tour. It will happen. I could be in one year, it could be two. It will happen, and it will happen sooner than I think. From the moment I parked and stepped out of my car, I put my headphones on and begun the mascaraed of orchestrated tunes  into my ears in order to heighten the moments leading up to the game. Jay-Z’s Blueprint 3 was the soundtrack of choice. By the time I made it to the spot you see above, the most epic track, and one of my favorites, on the album began to play. And it went:

Yes! Yes…I’m already home. Yup, there’s my home:

The stage that building houses. It’s what I’ve wanted the most since I was 14 years old. – a stage. Any state. Any stage that I could give people the show that would be a memory to last a lifetime.  The song blasted so loud and so beautiful in my ears. My pulse began to pick up. Palms became sweaty. The emotion was almost too much to bear. All I did was stare and zone out, imagining the happiness that faces me.  I can be there. It’s just across the street. So close, yet so far away. Yet still, I can get there. It feels like the first occurrence this song pierced my ears:

As the song ended. I just took in the moment and the realization that all dreams are possible. All it takes is hard work, persistence, and dedication. 10 years. If that’s not dedication, I don’t know what is. Focus. I’ve got that. A path. I walk the one that feels right. Support. *Turns around and points to people behind him* There you have it. And with that, I retreated to a corner as I continued to listen to the music in waiting of my friends. When they arrived and I felt as if I was in the happiest mood that I can ever remember. It’s been a long time since I last had the feeling. Graduating college maybe matches it.

The evening then played out with a series of unfortunate events, first with one of my friends being pick-pocketed and losing the tickets. To not spoil the feeling of this post, I’ll just say it went downhill with roadblocks from then on, but we were able to laugh about everything the whole time. It was fun. It reminded me of the times I spent with my brothers back home. I felt really bad for my friend who lost the tickets, because he felt bad which I can understand, but incidents do happen so we try and find a resolution and move forward. That’s we all did. The best part about the whole night is that we found a work around to every road block and we made it in. We had a great time at the game and went for drink after. We laughed it up. The one thing that I think they won’t know until they read this is that the experience I had and the  happiness I captured for the brief time before they showed up made my whole night. Nothing could have taken that away from me. Not even losing the tickets. It was like I was on a high and nothing cold kill my buzz. The beer that followed just made it even sweeter. It’s the little things in life that make my world. That’s coming from a kid who hasn’t seen or experienced much. Whatever I have, it’s the kind I want to block out of my memory. I just reboot and start over. ONE

Said Young Hova, better known as Jay-Z, on the Diamonds From Sierra Leone Remix.

I believe that statement is important to understand if you are trying to brand yourself and  be set apart from the pack. You have to be comfortable with yourself. You can never back down from what you believe in.

In this day and age, whether we want to believe so, us as individuals have become literal products. You must sell yourself. You have no choice. Other wise you’ll sit on the shelf with the other products that didn’t have good marketing gathering dust. You have to sell yourself in everything. You have to let people understand why you are important, or even relevant, why they should give you some of their time in exchange for whatever it is you have to offer. Be it goods and services, a talent that you want someone to support in, a school (you have to sell yourself to those colleges: SATs, entrance essays, letters of recommendation), a job, and even something as simple as friendship or a relationship. Think about those last two. People want to be around the cool kids. Why? Because they sold something about themselves that is widely attractive. Now, some get that because they are simply being themselves and they just naturally stand out and people flock to them because they are uncommon. I won’t use the word different, and I’ll tell you why. Anyone can be different. All you have to do is not do what everyone else is doing. Put a little shock value in to spice things up and there you have it, ready made different. That’s when people stop being themselves and start trying to be something that they think will get them attention. A market. Something to sell. A day where they don’t have to say, “Oh, pick me! Pick me! I want to be apart of your cool kid circle.” The ones that succeed. Well, you could just say that they have good business minds. They may not be doing it the moral way but they created something about themselves that is attractive (or completely odd and intriguing) to people and they sold it.

Even when trying to find a boyfriend or girlfriend these days. In young age mind you (mostly). You like someone but you know you aren’t totally what they want. You have something to offer but it’s not as strong as the other person who’s wining in the race. So what do you do? You play up the attributes that they like. Get their attention. Sell yourself. Everything boils down to business. I sort of thought about that analysis as I wrote this. It made a lot of sense to me…

I have been working very hard on my music, this website, writing my script, and trying to find that break that will get me where I want to be so that I can work comfortably and relentlessly toward my goal. Music is my main focus. I want to be a recording artist. That’s what I want. I’ve always wanted it. I have other ambitions but that’s what a career is for, so that you can gain opportunities that will allow you to grow as a professional and artist. I have so many different talents but I haven’t been given the chance to do what I want. I plan to use everyone of those talents until it gets me right there at the front door of the opportunity that I dream of. It’s the only way. At least that’s how I perceive it to be. So now, I have my calling card. My marketing if you will. Long overdue, but I feel that this website grew to the age where I feel it’s the right time to start getting it out there to the people.

Here’s my card. Give it to all your friends.

FRONT

BACK

I read this at the most strange moment, while taking a quick break from working on my next project (something special to me) which I should have up for you all tomorrow.

This is from Kanye West’s Blog, posted today. Well, as long as it’s still the 2nd on the west coast…yesterday for the eastern folks. There are points in your life or day that something just jumps out at you and has the power to explain almost everything that is troubling you. It can be a few key words or phrase mentioned in conversation with someone. It can be something seen on random occurrence. Or it can be just your, unconsciously giving yourself the answers. The latter is just what happened to me 5 minutes ago… in my head I thought, “I didn’t check his blog today, let me see what he posted…and there was the answer. So, I only feel it’s right to post his statement on my blog. It deserves to be here.

Click on the image to read what Kanye said:No one ever believed Kanye would be what he is today. They swore him off when he first came out as being too left field. I remember when I first heard of him – reading his name in the liner notes of the Blueprint album. I didn’t know who this guy was, I didn’t know what he looked like, I didn’t even know he was a rapper/producer. I just knew that I heard the beats he did for the album and it was so fresh, so incredibly opposite of everything musically in the rap game that I can remember from that time. From then on, I hyped him up to everyone. People thought I was crazy. It was like I was one of his old friends acting as street team for him. That’s how much of a fan I became of this artist, and that was before he even released any of his own music. I followed him since that point. Awaiting that first single. Then, “Through The Wire” released. Still, no one really knew of him at this point. I believe most of the buzz that he had accumulated at this point was for all his work as a producer on other people’s albums and going on tour with Talib Kweli. I tried to put him on so many people. I was always like, “Yo, you need to listen to this guy. He’s really, really good.” No one seemed to care. Most said they weren’t feeling him. Then the album drops and the game changes. Late Registration is what really did it for him. Those who didn’t believe before, were believers. What is also most fascinating, is that his first album, College Dropout released my first year in college. Then came, Late Registration during the very year that my life took a drastic turn and my mind become so focused on succeeding. My art skills came out of hiding, I started in my major, and it was like my “real world” opened up right in front of me. Then, just shy of a week after I graduated in August of 2007, he releases his third opus, GRADUATION. For those that know me well, know that Jay-Z is my biggest life influence period. When Jay announced his retirement from rap in 2003 and then following, a Roc-a-fella breakup , it was like my life felt empty. Every year since the age of 14 I looked forward to a Jay-Z album. It was what was getting me through life. So if you can imagine not having any Jay albums during probably the most important time that I would need one… you can imagine my feeling of loneliness and loss. But luckily right after The Black Album released, it was Kanye that filled the void. I don’t believe in coincidences. I’ve become a fan of Kanye so early on for some reason that I probably will never understand, but he came in and did his thing at the right time. It was literally seeing someone become greatness right in front of your eyes. From the moment I saw what my life needs to be when I was in college discovering all these things about myself, I never once thought that I would be anything short of great. I look up to these great men, because I see parts of myself in each of them. I’m sure they had influences the same. This goes past a rap influence for me. This is life influence. Those who don’t believe now. It’s ok, I forgive you. But you will at some point believe. That’s because I am going to show you.

1. Ext. – Santa Monica Blvd – A man in his SUV is having a heated conversation with the passenger seat. But no one is there. Cocaine aftermath?

2. I saw Jesus standing on the corner of Sepulveda and Wilshire. He had a long white robe on with sandals, his grail in his hand, and a hair like wool to boot. Was he looking for people to heal?

3. A homeless man in Marina Del Ray stands outside of the supermarket with a sign that reads, “Spaceship broke. Need parts.” Why won’t someone help him get back to his home planet!

4. A 15 year old girl accompanied by her friend came into my place of work, Solstice, and bought over $900 in designer sunglasses. She’s a blessed individual. Wouldn’t you say?

5. Some people will do anything for a discount. Even if you tell them they are the 99th customer, and say if they walk out and come back in they will be the 100th customer and get a free pair of sunglasses. Works everytime.

6. A very snobby, and rude, young woman clothed in a designer tank top (who I ended up helping) began to put on a pair of sunglasses, only to expose her unshaven arm pits. Was the right thing to do to laugh it off? She thought so.
I on the other arm, did not.

7. On my route to work every morning, a homeless man stood in the same exact location every morning with a sign asking for help. After about one month, I noticed his shirt was always neatly pressed. Should I switch careers?

8. Everyone who talks on their cellphone paces and dons a serious face as if they are making an important business deal. I wonder who they know? Maybe I can finally get in on the action.

9. Girls under the age of 10 know about Chanel, Gucci, and Marc Jacobs. Are they the future Vera Wang? Or are they just future customers?

10. Batman, Captin Jack Sparrow, and Spiderman all live on Hollywood Blvd. It’s true. I snuck a picture of Spiderman.

LA is without a doubt packed with weirdos- the good kind though. Harmless indeed, and either unhappy or lonely. Sometimes I become sadden by what I see, other times I laugh uncontrollably. In the end, after one year, I can say this has been a cool place to live. It is truly the entertainment capital of the world. It’s not everyday you can see someone arguing with an empty passenger seat. It’s theater!  And yes, people really do say “dude” out here. Later dudes!

It is only so often that something, or someone, can show its presence that can ignite something in us that provides that extra bit of energy to push a little harder. I get that everyday. I not only like to inspire myself by keep on doing projects with my talents that help me prove to myself that I am an artist – a rather unique one a that – but I also come across other artists that stoke that fire in me.

Uniqueness is something that is a rarity. People have misused the word “different” in the last couple of years. Now that a movement has started where as it’s cool to be “quirky” or “different” has yet again, like many trends, manufactured things that, in my opinion, are not so different at all. I’ll use the “nerd movement” as an example. Many years ago nerds were the outcasts, they were uncool, and often chastised for being who they were. Now that there has been a rise in celebrities who were nerds (and still are might I add)  and are accepted by the masses, now everyone wants to be a nerd. They even dress the part. See the latest fashion trends if you don’t believe me. When it was cool to be “gangsta” everyone wanted to be that. I am a nerd. A real one. Ask any of my friends. I don’t take part in the whole nerd revolution. I don’t see the need to. I can be myself and fit right in. I don’t dress the part. Why put on a costume just to be who I am. I just do me, and when the trend fades out, I’ll still be a nerd and everyone else will change… If I see another person wearing those damn nerd glasses…Sorry. Pop culture (insert long sigh here).

Now back to my description of unqiue. I think that is just an extent of someone who is being themselves and just happens to fall no where in any of the categories that are popular and in turn become popular and start a whole new category by themselves. That is a rare thing. In the case of Cyhi Da Prince, a rapper from Atlanta. I saw just that and I hope that I’m right in his uniqueness. It was this rapper, who I later learned is signed by Konvict/Def Jam, that inspired me last night and let me know there is hope for myself. Not that I ever doubted there is hope, but it can become hard to keep the fight up some days. What I saw in this rapper is what I felt is unique, and I mean purely on rhyming ability and just the fact that he seems like he’s being totally himself. I don’t know him personally and I don’t know if he’s going to change the game and start another revolution but I think as a real rapper, he’ll be around for a while. He’s doesn’t appear to have any facade or gimmick. He’s just rapping. I alingn myself with the same thing. I just want to rap. I love to rap. I love the music. I want to do it on an international scale and touch the lives of my fans. I don’t think I have found myself as an artist yet, but I am getting closer and when I do. The game will have some trouble on it’s hands. So, I would like to introduce you all to Cyhi Da Prince. I think this young rapper will have something very special to offer the game. I wish him the best of luck. I hope to do a track with him one day. Enjoy.

Here is the track on Yelawolf’s Remix “I Wish” that got him noticed by Kanye West.

Hello All!

If you have noticed, I have recently purchased my first domain — www.troyb.wordpress.com is now www.troybarthouse.com. Tell your friends.  To kick off the string of changes (good changes, mind you) that will occur over time to the site I wanted to give you part 2 of  the, “Making of…Listen To My Tape!” in video blog form. This is first of many. I want to apologize in advance if my speaking voice is a little low, I wasn’t sitting close enough to the laptop microphone — it will get better.

I also want to encourage you all to comment on any the posts with, general thoughts, ideas,  feedback, or even if you have art that you would like me to showcase — be it fashion, fine art, music, or anything involved in film. If it’s good art. I will showcase it. You can send inquiries to troyb.arthouse@gmail.com.

Thanks again for your support!

Click on the business card to see the video.

Why Ducks?

–They are my 3rd favorite animal, along with Lions and then the Turtles taking the lead.

–They make the best cartoon characters – Daffy, Donald, Darkwing, Plucky, Scrooge McDuck, Huey, Duey and Louie to name a few. Oh! Duckman. Can’t forget good ‘ole Duckman. Remember him? It was USA’s fault why I was “Up All Night.”

–Also becuase a good friend of mine is obsessed with them. Show her a duck and she smiles. Greatest thing ever. It’s completely endearing and you can’t help but find it adorable when she gets excited at the sight of them. It’s almost true happiness. It’s the kind of happiness a child evokes on Christmas morning and it melts my heart away.

In my 24 years on this planet I have searched for happiness. I’m still searching but I have come to realize in the past few weeks, living a certain way or reaching a goal does not need to provide happiness. Have you ever heard the phrase, Piss poor and happy? No? Well that’s because I just made it up. Why did I ask then, if I just made it up? I wanted to make sure no one else is stealing my lingo. That’s why. You have to be careful here people. These words are priceless. So what do I mean by that sort of paradox? Well, I do not come from money. I know what it’s like to live with hand me downs. I know what it feels like to work hard for something as simple as groceries. I know what it feels like to see everyone else around you having the best of things while you’re stuck with the second rate stuff and have to make it work for you. Within all of that, I can find ways to make it work and look as if I have the best. Following me? I know rich people, I know poor people as well. In all of my accounts, the richer people always seem to be the most dull in personality, less charismatic, and also oddly, shameful of what they have. That’s whether they worked hard for it or had it passed down. Flipping pages to read about my poor friends now…

The pages glow with light, and I see that they are like the happiest people I can ever meet. Though, it must be noted not all of the times are happy…but they know how to live life with the bare essentials. They laugh, make jokes and enjoy what they have, even though things could be dreadful. I am Jamaican. I know this first hand. I never understood the importance of that until recently and, well. Ducks. Sometimes all you need is that one thing. For the same poor people, it could be hope. For rich people it may their money and being able to buy their worldly possessions. For my friend, it’s ducks. For me? I’m not sure yet. I could say music. It’s the only thing that could make my day better. Something soulful and serene. If I gets chills, it’s doing the job. If I get inspired, it’s doing the job. But you know, music frustrates me just as equally. So I can’t say that it’s my ultimate treasure trove just yet. I get frustrated with my own music and trying to find my sound. I also become discouraged when other artists that I know I’m more talented getting more recognition than me. So for now, I have hope. That will make me smile for the moment. I won’t be totally happy but it’ll suffice. I look forward to the day of living out my dreams, finding Ms. So Fly, coming to grips with my flaws, and embracing my demons. One way or another I’m going to find my “ducks”. You should too. Things may not always go as planned but being able to have that one thing to calm our world can make all the difference. It sounds so simple but you would be surprised how much we over look the simple things in life.

For her…

I’m hiding. From what? Problems. Why? Circumstance. Huh? I just like to work. Leave it at that – my art comforts me.

What am I working on right now?

• My second screenplay entitled, Hopeless Romantics and Sweet Dreams.
• My first solo album entitled, Thoughtfully Crazy.
• Becoming a fashion model for print. I’m going to open calls at all the agencies. I’ve been turned down by four so far. I have to keep at it. Many more to go.
• Looking for a second job. One providing more hours and pay higher than what I have now – which is pretty close to minimum wage. I’m attacking the bigger studios at the moment. Ones with money. I’ve always had a great business mind so I was thinking a position in Marketing or Business Affairs would suit me well. I could parlay my artistic knowledge and creative skills into those sectors and attack on higher ground.
• Other business ventures, with my younger brother and god-brother. Hint: it involves music.
• Music video ideas. I directed and edited my first on my senior year in college with two good friends and it came out really well. Now that I have made some new friends at AFI and they are actually interested in my work, I feel it’s time to do another one. The mixtape is completed. It’s time to promote and capitalize on what it can do for me.
• Booking more shows. My first performance late last year at The Good Hurt here in Los Angeles was so exhilarating. I want that feeling again. Performing my music gave me so much leverage to show people how much passion I have for the medium. I want my live show to be second to none. I am currently in talks to do another Feb 18th with the bands from my prior employer Rhythm and Hues Studios.

Busy? Affirmative. Do I have time to relax, play, and enjoy life? It’s sparse but I really do try my best to have those checks and balances. I just want it so bad. What is that “it” you ask? The opportunity to turn my art (my muses) into a full fledged career and touch the lives of others who find inspiration, solace, and escape in the work of true artists, be it music, fine art, film, or literature. That’s what I want. Oh, and to not be a struggling artist. I’ve been poor long enough and not being able to provide myself with the things that I need and desire. So therefore, I will also adopt the attitude, “If it don’t make dollars, it don’t make sense.” Don’t get me misconstrued, money is not my objective, art is. Money will come as long as the art is successful and people embrace it. Whether that will happen is up to the people. I pray that it happens.

New Artwork:

A doodle I did while I was at Solstice board out of my mind. It’s sort of a continuity study. The drawings are crude on purpose.

by: Troy Buchanan

It is the early morning. Darkness slightly looms. The earth is sweating from the morning dew.

It is Los Angeles on the 7th day of a new year. The sun begins to climb over the horizon. In two days it will rise earlier than usual signifying that the second year for the chosen one has begun.

A meeting is being held in a hidden room at the base of an abandoned building. Three strapping young lads all resembling could be mistaken for brothers, but in fact, they are the same. They stand around a fire reaching up out of a barrel pulsing an orange light on their faces. They are clad in armor as if they are about to engage into battle.

Despite the fire the room still appears cold and feels disease ridden. It has been the meeting place of the men since childhood. It is warm to them. They treat it as home.

Breaking the silence, Me, the oldest, begins to speak:

“So here we are, once again gathered around this fire meeting as a fellowship. In two days it will be one year since embarking on this journey. It was in the birth of our last meeting, right before we departed from our families – everything we know and love, I stated this was the end all be all. Success is a must. Failure will happen but we mustn’t give up. Enemies will be bred in the belly of the weak who thrive on our downfall. This is in remembrance of what we sacrificed so long to accomplish!”

*the men roar in support with fire mirroring into their eyes being fueled by the emotion of the moment*

“I am your brother but we are one. I promised you that I would not leave you astray. I promised you the kind of success that will bring us true happiness. We prayed for riches. Though it is not our purpose, but our reward. We’ve lusted for women. Though we know they as abundant as the water in our world, and the reward opens the facet for them to flow and shower us as we bask in the green light of our success. Our father said, ‘Steer clear of Medusa.’ Every man crosses her path once in life. Our vision must remain directly ahead. Never look of to the side. If we ever become tempted to look behind to the past we turn to stone and our mission is no more.

This is our moment of glory!

This is our opportune time to show all of them the faces of thier mistakes when they passed on us, when they told us that we were not ready, and when they clearly did not give us what we deserve! Oh no gentlemen, the unfairness of it all shall no longer eat at the head of our table!”

*The men bellow once again as the pain from the memories spoken forms a hunger in their bellies*

We shall fight! We will fight until our hearts no longer chose to beat. Even then our ghosts will walk the earth until our mission is carried out. Men, it is my duty, and pleasure to swing my sword on the battlefield alongside you. May our father be with you in the event of expiration. May he guide you as he has guided me to lead you. This is only of care and precaution. I hope to walk with you back to our families carrying victory. This is our goal.”

*The brothers stare at one another for a brief moment taking in what was said. They embrace each other joining their fists together. They don their helmets and exit in silence.

Me, Myself, I, valiantly walk off into the rising sun. Only who resides on the other side will ever see them again*

The End

I found this video back in June and was totally floored by the level of detail and patience that it must have taken to complete this animated project. The artist is a student of the Savannah College of Art and Design. Any artist or aspiring aritst knows that some serious talent comes from that school. This project absolutely justifies it. It’s already gotten about 3 million hits on YouTube, but I just had to post it on the blog for those who have not seen it yet.

I also came across this video today:

Electropolis

It’s really interesting short. It was created by 13 students in the 3rd year of the BAA Animation program at Sheridan College in Oakville, Ontario, Canada. All hail student art! It’s the most refreshing things you will ever see; even with all the rough edges and skills still being explored. I find it to be sometimes the most inspiring.

I always get very blessed and have the opportunity to work with some very talented people throughout my career.

This year I met two young ladies, Kelice Penny and Abby Armando while working at Rhythm and Hues and on the set of the short film that I worked on earlier this year, called Unrest.

Kelice is the receptionsist at R+H and Abby is a costumer for productions. I happened to meet them at two separate times only to learn that they were good friends a month after working at R+H. Such a microscopic world we live in. Outside of their days jobs they both work tirelessly on thier many crafted creatures that span across many themes.

Recently, the two of them featured thier newest work at Unique Los Angeles

Featured below are Kelice’s Severed Yeti Heads. She is also selling them outside of the fair. If you are interested in buying one, let me know and I can put you in touch with Kelice.

Bonjour, my readers!

First, I want to say thank you to those that have been reading the blog on a regular basis and being gracious with the love and support. This is only the beginning!

I have not slowed down one bit. I feel this album is going to be something very special. Upon conceiving the idea of getting some music out to the masses, at first  I just wanted to put out a mixtape. It seemed like the right idea because most of the rappers that have been blowing up and getting national attention (the ones that are good of course) have been putting out free tapes in order to get a buzz. Their mixtapes are good but the thing is they sound like “mixtapes.” Not that there is anything wrong with that but, as talented as these artists are, I wish they had tried to actually put albums, if they could and had the opportunity to. I seem to have that opportunity at hand with my brother, Sean, behind me as my producer and the tools finally within hands grasp. It is my belief that his sound and my sound meshed will get us the attention that we have been wanting for a very long time. The more and more I began to write and come up with different ideas, I decided to shift and record more of what felt like an album. I started to have like 3 versions of verses in the songs and each one got better. I was working on this song this past Saturday called, “La La Land” and I was like, this is insane, this song sounds nothing like what’s out right now and it feels strong. It’s really good. I get this feeling from a lot of what I have recorded so far. Especially what’s on my brothers beats. I have some mixtape tracks but none of them compare to what I have been recording on Sean’s beats.

I have this other song called “Entertainment” that I recorded about a month ago and was finally able to finish a decent mix of it. I just uploaded it to imeem and incorporated it into the playlist that will become a free mixtape available right before the album drops at the end of this year. I hope you all like it. Listen to what I’m saying in this song, a lot of different things are being explained. People who wonder about me will get some answers. I also touch on certain issues I have about the entertainment business, I think many will appreciate what is being said. Click here to listen to the track.

“…just, don’t become an asshole.” Words from the man who gave me my first job in the entertainment industry. John Lux. Good man. Smart man. I was an Intern/Post PA for him for about close to 5 months at i.d.e.a.s. at MGM Studios (now called Hollywood Studios) during my Senior year in college. Those words were to be his parting ones before I left Florida to move to LA, where I currently reside, to chase my dreams in this “entertainment business.” I say business because that’s what it is. I’ll get to that later.

Now, in that conversation, if I can remember correctly, I was telling John about my decision to move and the reasons behind it, mainly wanting to chase my dreams and be that person that I believe that I can be in my life. I would accomplish that through all the goals and milestones that I clear in my entertainment career – as an artist. Not as “talent” as many people in the industry label the individuals who make them money. It’s such a disrespectful title. It’s just used disrespectfully. Before I go off on another tangent, I’ll get to my point before I forget. His notion and I think everyone else’s about those who “make it” in the business and reach that level of success that very few attain because it is so hard to get there, have an attitude change along the way. Most, or all, would say those people become Assholes. I’m not even sure what to think of that…

I’ll speak for myself. I don’t want to become an asshole. It’s not in my nature so I don’t even dwell on it. But, recently I have realized my mentality and observations shifting to a degree where I can understand why people would say that about those who make it. It’s a hard road to walk and every step of the way people are sucking some sort of life from you. It can tax your attitude, your patience, and kindness. At a certain point you just can’t take it anymore. First before you start to grill me about that, I’m not saying that happens to everyone. Some people are just born assholes. Plain and simple. Through and through. I swear when you go at this alone and you get that step up higher, when no one wanted to help you. Or, when they don’t even take you seriously so, they just don’t fuck with you. At that point you have no choice but to go at it alone. Then those same people will come back and act as if you owe them something. “Huh? I’m sorry, but did you help me get here,” is what I’ll say. That’s when they can start to say, “you changed man,” or, “you’re such an asshole.” I’m sorry but if at any point in my life (God forbid) I become an Asshole or grow older with Asshole tendencies. I would say, “You all made me an Asshole. This wasn’t my doing.” It’s because I feel people have pushed me to that. I hope I never reach that point.

As for the business side of things and the assholes in it…well, I’ll leave that for another post.

Below is a video of one of my favorite Hollywood Assholes ever, Mr. Kanye West. If you watch the video, I don’t think that’s an Asshole talking. No, that’s frustration people. Sounds like someone pushed him to that.

I love art with all my heart.

I think it’s safe to say that I would die in the name of art. Probably take a bullet for a best friend if his/her name was art. Same goes for music, which is art, or, “one of the fine arts.” I always said that I would name my daughter Hip Hop, if my wife would let me. Wait, before you fix your lips to object, Hip Hip is art.

I have struggled so much to prove myself to others as an artist and a talented individual but, I often utilize a lot energy fighting for what I feel is good art. What is good art? My simple definition is: any body of work in which it’s craftsmanship strikes one deep into their soul and can draw emotion. There are some amazing artists out there and I have promised myself that I will not stop until I find a place among those artists, labeled artistic geniuses. This means an ongoing teaching process of the different crafts that I practice. It has always been a self-teaching experience as well. I have had teachers, but my time with them has been limited so I have constantly left to fend for self. It’s totally fine with me because I have learned some invaluable things along the way. I have learned through, doing, observation, conversation, and my ability to constantly be inspired by others or myself. I cannot wait until the day that I am free to roam as an artist and not have to worry about anything else but putting out work that will satisfy my hunger (which is gluttonous I must say) and touch the lives of others who look forward to my work in order to carry them through their lives. Man…I am glad they [peers] treated me the way they did. They just cultivated [the chastising] a remarkable person. I know I am destined for greatness. Watch me like you watch Hulu.

Some words for future ideas, courtesy of Kyle Smith who forwarded this to me:

What’s up world. It’s me again. It seems that I shocked a lot of people last night. Some would say I became someone else. I say no, I don’t think that’s possible. It was me. The same Troy people run into everyday. Everyone just saw a side of me that is comepletely separate from what they normally see, which is generally myself in a work environment. Being that this was sort of a company event, most of the people there were my co-workers…I’m almost sure they look at me differently now.

This was my first performance ever. That in itself amazed people. Even though my set was short I was ecstatic to walk off stage and hear people say that they wanted more. I couldn’t have asked for a better feeling. I am always appreciative of the love and support that I get. I just wish my family and friends back home could have been there to see me. Being that I knew they wouldn’t be able to, I got my good friend Kyle to record it for me on my camera. Check me out.

With so many talents and so many demons to battle, I’m able to spread my heart and soul across a few art forms. When it comes to feeding myself and keeping a roof over my head, it becomes a different story. It no longer becomes about just art. It turns itself into how can I stay living doing this. I’ll be honest with you. I know for a fact there are more broke rappers than rich ones. There are hundreds of struggling fine artists. I want to be great like them but I don’t want to be struggling like them. Let alone all over the place and lacking clear direction. Many creative people suffer from that problem. For years, I have had an extremely hard time finding out what I want to focus on. I thought I did, but the music is integral to my survival. Literally… cannot do with out it.

Someone told me today, a fellow artist, that I need to find one thing to focus on and then it will make everything else so much easier. Easier said than done. Once I do that, and I get to that heightened point where I can incorporate everything else that I have been doing into that then I can be unstoppable. Well that last part isn’t entirely what he said but, that’s what I drew from it. I’m thinking that it may have to be the music. That’s my calling. From there I can venture back into film. That is what’s making the most sense to me. I can direct my own music videos, I can keep writing scripts and prove to people that I have what it takes to make great cinema by using my celebrity as a recording artist and the opportunities that I will be given.

Man…I hope this all works out. I just want it so bad. I have worked hard for it. I’ve been through hell. I deserve everything that I dream of.

Inspiration for my album cover…

I am really trying to show everyone that I am serious. I know that I have the talent, the potential, something’s there in me…in my heart. I feel it. Just as Phil Collins felt it in the air.

It’s lurking waiting to be unleashed at the right moment. But, it’s aparant and clear as the lenses in my glasses when I see through them that I am meant to something beyond what I can actually understand at this point in my life. Or what anyone else can understand for that matter. The important thing is that I believe in me. You don’t have to now, but you will. One day, you will.

I don’t come across many people that have the potential to be really good at so many things. Especially in the arts. I write music, I rap/sing, I draw, I write film scripts, I’m a video editor, I am somewhat of a photographer, and I am an aspiring filmmaker. I do want to be a director in the future…but the music is my first love. I have to conquer that first. The point that I  try to make all the time is that, I am good at this stuff. It’s quality art and it’s heartfelt. Everything I do is me painting my heart and the way I see the world onto the canvas of my choice in order to share with the world. It heals my pain. And like what art represents to so many other people… that, “get them through their day” art. I do it for that reason and so that it heals thier pain.

This page is just another addition in my catalog proving that I can do and be everything that I say that I want to be. Click the Photography link above and open the door to another chamber in my world.

Live to be famous, or become infamous and be remembered forever? I’m joining forces with the latter.

A young lady once told me, after working with me for 3 short months on a project, that I would one day be infamous. I’m assuming this notion was all based on my work performance and the way that I presented myself.  I never understood that prophecy or knew what it would mean for me until we politicked recently and she explained to me what that really means. I always said that I wanted to be an influential figure in my life. Influential for all the right reasons. Set standards and examples for so the young men coming up behind me will have someone to aspire to be like. It’s hard to be a role model or someone in the spotlight and live a life that detaches you from negativity, evils, or something that taints your image. Some try, I would hope, many could care less, and few ever live up to that. It’s sad. There are really no good role models left out there. Especially for black men, and blacks in general. We are forced to find our role models in entertainment. Everyone has some dirt on their feet from their walks in life. We are human,  inherintley imperfect and I love it. Why do I need to walk around trying to be Christ like? I don’t even think Christ was perfect. He’s a human isn’t he? Humans have flaws, no? Hm…

All of the people that I look up to and strive to be like have come from environments that can make you cringe. They have done terrible things that where the result of circumstance. I can relate to them. I know that same environment. Maybe not through and through but I have seen what they have become.  They are some of the most amazingly talented, intelligent, and inspiring people that I have witnessed.

As I try to telescope out my window into my future I am trying to see if I can truly be that role model for the kid(s) who are in my position now. Unfortunately I can’t see that far yet, of who I will become, it’s too blurry. I know who I want to  be… so, for the moment I just try to keep reminding myself.

Where do I want to go?

The top.

Who do I want to be?

A Legend.

Why do I want what seems so out of reach for just the average joe?

Because I have slaved, fought, bled, cried, and slaved some more. In the conception of those I have created art to free myself of the pain and harsh memories, and you know what? I damn sure feel like I deserve to be great. I think about the future, because I’m fascinated by it. It’s my love affair. I want to be the future of strong black men who don’t lead our people astray.

I am the future. Simply, because I am still living. Much to attest for a black man.

I have officially decided to leave Rhythm and Hues after what will be two feature films, and one test project. What an amazing experience I have had being here. Simply, hands down, and unadulterated the best company I have ever worked for. That’s a lot coming from me. I have worked for a lot of companies, and I have hated them all. The fact of the matter is, I cannot continue being a PA. I need to go after my dreams. No hard feelings R+H, I love you all.

So what’s next for me? Well, I’m still working on finishing this album, script #2, and of course my ,”what would be awesome day job “- a fashion model. I am getting a little closer with the latter. I just have to get some professional pictures done. I was told that the ones that I took were just not good enough, albeit, ” You have the look and you’ve got killer eyes” is what was said. So, that tells me I just have to cough up my money and get some good pictures taken in order to make this happen. Wish me luck! My only concern is from now until that happens…money. What am I going to do? Solstice (my part-time) can’t pay all my bills. Well, I’m a hustler (in a hard-working man sense), I have grinded (no Tony Hawk affiliation), and I have been through worse. Like my homie, Mark, told me. Thug it out.

So, in an effort to make this album a realization, I have gone ahead to build myself a mock studio. The set-up will be raw but much more effective than using the built-in microphone on my Mac. Where much praise is to due, because it did allow me to record some of the best music I have ever done. The sound that I was able to get was shocking. Most of the songs have come out with pretty good vocals. I’m very excited to see what I can do with this condensor mic I was loaned by an Animator at work. Shouts to Brian Wells! Thank you homie.

So in order to use the mic that I have now, I needed a USB audio interface that would allow me Phantom Power that would generate enough power for the mic. So, I set out to get something similar to what my brother Sean uses. In his recommendation I purchased a M-Audio Fast Track II USB interface. The icing on the cupcake – a bundled copy of Pro Tools M-Powered, which is a version of Pro Tools specifically for M-Audio hardware.

http://www.m-audio.com/products/en_us/FastTrack.html

I can’t wait until I reach my labyrinth tonight. Listen To My Tape… Coming Soon!

Hola world,

My younger brother, Sean Buck, has been busy at work on recording and mixing the debut of J Nic$ entitled, “Dirty Sneakers.”  J Nic$ is a Miami native and I have met him but only once, but I have heard a few of the tracks off of this mixtape and I must say, I like what I have been hearing. It’s always nice to hear fellow rappers putting in work to get their music out there to be heard. I myself, and as said before, have never released any collection of material before. It’s a good motivator to keep you chasing the dream. Plus my official appearance is long overdue. J Nic$’s mixtape will be put out under the management of Cloud 9, which is headed by Mark Maturah, who is also of Blaqsheep LLC (www.blaqsheepblog.com).

J Nic$ – Dirty Sneakers, Coming Soon…

In addition, wanted to point out that Sean Buck, in his time at the Hit Factory as an Assistant Engineer, has been working on many Ca$h Money projects. Most notably, has been Birdman Baby’s new project Pricele$$ which is set for release this fall. Congrats Sean Buck! Moving up in the industry.

Back in February, when I first moved to LA, I had the opportunity to work on short film with some of the coolest people that I have met in a while. These particular cool people were graduate students at the American Film Institute, and this was their thesis film. The film is called “Unrest” and is set in Manila, Philippines. The story, set in 1986, centers around a young girl and an unlikely chain of events that change her life at the time of the Philippine Revolution.

This was also my first time on an actual film set. What an awesome experience. I was like, “I could get used to this.” I can’t wait until I have the opportunity when I work on my first feature or short. I hope that time is in the near future…

I just wanted to share this with the rest of the world and big up some very talented individuals, and now my friends, Christy, Marie, Kevin, Monica, and Brian. You all have done an exceptional job on this short. Congratulations. If anyone would like to see it, contact me and I will see what I can do to get you a copy of the film.

UNREST

The time has come for me to finally take my rap career to the next plateau. I will have my first performance on Nov 12th at the Good Hurt in Venice.

Now, those who know me will say, “Troy, you have been rapping since you where in high school…you’re 24 now. Why the hell are you just doing your FIRST performance!?” Believe me, the same question runs through my head all the time. It has definitely been a long time coming. Sometimes though, it takes a little bit of meandering or avoiding certain things in order to get to it a the right time, and that’s exactly what I feel this is. This is the right time… I have had many nights in college, opting to not go out, to stay home be a loner and write rhymes. I don’t know why I did it. Only now do I realized all the days that I did spent practicing my craft because I wanted to be the best, has lead me to this point. It’s artist development, that’s all it is. Also a mix of loving something so much you can never stop doing it. No matter how hard you try to let it be.

The next thing I’m developing myself in is, my skills as a screenwriter/director. Oh, an believe, I account many times when I could have been out having fun and I stayed back to work on my first feature script. I got that one done in about a year by the way At age 23, not many can say they did that… Script #2 coming 2010 before I turn 25. World I am on my way! See the rest of you dudes FROM the top.

I truly have become to beileve more than any point in my life that I am a extremely talented person. I am blessed and I am extremely grateful for that. When I was young, felt like that feeling would never come.

…I was having nervous breakdowns/Like/ “Damn, these niggas that much better than me?”

- Kanye West

Just a teaser to get you all excited about this mixtape. It’s been a long time coming… 10 years I have been pouring my heart and soul into the music. This mixtape is my chance to put myself out there and find out, will people really appreciate the music? Can I really be successful with this? We’ll see… I just want to make good music that hits you in your heart. I’m looking at 12 tracks, most of which is produced my brother Sean Buck(www.myspace.com/seanbuckfla)

Stay tuned world, I’m coming!

TroyB – Listen To My Tape

Fall 2009

Stay grounded, keep options open.

http://community.modellifestyle.me/troyb

It’s hard being a very passionate person. It’s hard being a multi-talented person. It’s even harder when you are a very passionate, mulit-talented individual who always has ideas, and is constantly seeking a path to get where he wants to be. That’s a lot of work. That means putting the hours in. Taking the time, or rather, FINDING the time to work on side projects, look into new ventures, and show the world you mean business and you can be the person to put out amazing work that will touch the lives of many. That in itself is a full-time job. A lot mental energy, lost sleep, amongst working two jobs. But I’m a fighter. My grandmother tells me that I have to be one.

That said, after multiple people suggesting that I give it a try, I am pursuing to enter the world of fashion modeling. I’m not doing it just because, I have had an interest in it for about a year now. Plus, what do I have to lose? Nothing but time. Not even that will be much wasted, because I’m still writing rhymes and scripts to come and change the game on you. That’s right wack rappers. Yes, I’m talking to commercial script writers.

I work/two times/I rhyme/I write, my life/onto the page/ for the screen/ then I scream it on the track/all memories of a black/young gifted kid/who only want to live/in the hills from negative/happy, rich, and with a dry face/wait till’ I get there, clear me space/none of y’all can put up hands fast enough to save face/my dreams my soldiers/my heart enlisted it/ reason I was born… to show ya’ll what the business is!

After 10 years of rapping and spiting my heart out on a piece of paper, my handy dandy notebook, or as of recent some new tracks for your ear. I have finally posted some music for the world to hear. Check me out!

http://www.imeem.com/troyb

You know, I never thought that when I did this music video back in ’07 that it would ever be what it has become today. Not saying that it has become some YouTube sensation or I never thought anything of my own work but, I was just doing this for a class project at first. Then, it sort of took on an entire different meaning for me. I has sort of become iconic for me as the song being my first street single and the video being the first thing that I have ever done as an aspiring filmmaker. Recently the video has been posted on the website of Trackstar Road Racing. A group of street bikers turned organized racers, Teflon434 specifically, have acknowledged the kid’s video and have posted on their website. On the front page! How crazy is that. Rap Game, Film Industry I am coming! You hear my footsteps? Tap, tap, tap, tap…

www.teflon434.com